found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Where is the hickey?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
