Me. At least after what I've been through.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize