i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
