making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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