around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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