he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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