just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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