We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
