you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize