it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
