No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
