I skipped work to stalk him.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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