He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
