i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
