That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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