I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
