Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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