oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
