My cat gives me a boner
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
