Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
