I understand Curling. That high.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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