Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
