went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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