Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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