i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Randomize
