He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Watching her eat just hurts me
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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