I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
