Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
