theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
