i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
