you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
