These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
