is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
