My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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