whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize