I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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