I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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