Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
