i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
