Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
