we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
