Kiss
Puke
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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