woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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