There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
