So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
