Just mADE A PArabola og urine
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize