So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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