I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
how does that bad decision feel?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
