haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize