Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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