Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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