oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
