I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
