I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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