Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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